It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
