I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
