Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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