Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
