How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize