He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
