You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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