I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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