Umm I'm too high to move.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
