Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize