thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
