Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Kiss
Puke
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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