I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
