Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.