i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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