i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.