i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it