One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
