its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
