Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
