the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is wine microwaveable?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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