To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
