i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
