I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
