is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am spending my child support on dildos
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
