Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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