I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
