i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
