A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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