i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money