so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
they need to just BURY HIM!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
