Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
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I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
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Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.