Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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  (203): I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche. http://tfl.nu/n3n6
  Replies (4) Good night (2487) Bad night (659)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.

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  (770): Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces. http://tfl.nu/5t2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3692) Bad night (1028)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

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  (410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi
  Replies (27) Good night (612) Bad night (4627)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.

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  (313): I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before. http://tfl.nu/lr8m
  Replies (14) Good night (1767) Bad night (3554)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  sorry about calling you the devil all night.

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  (904): sorry about calling you the devil all night. http://tfl.nu/78dt
  Replies (9) Good night (3836) Bad night (1040)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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  (603): i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword" http://tfl.nu/1vn8
  Replies (16) Good night (1465) Bad night (5948)
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  (408): View more from California

  I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...

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  (408): I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal... http://tfl.nu/6umq
  Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (3140)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me

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  (203): Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me http://tfl.nu/81ac
  Replies (12) Good night (4674) Bad night (1659)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side

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  (847): I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side http://tfl.nu/k88p
  Replies (12) Good night (2161) Bad night (831)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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  (785): God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr. http://tfl.nu/5tpq
  Replies (5) Good night (1408) Bad night (659)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.

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  (702): Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/o3bo
  Replies (10) Good night (1112) Bad night (708)
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  (818): View more from California

  the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes

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  (818): the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes http://tfl.nu/djiq
  Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (553)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained

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  (484): In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained http://tfl.nu/b1r9
  Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (431)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.

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  (832): She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th. http://tfl.nu/6ohj
  Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (409)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication

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  (508): I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication http://tfl.nu/sp6h
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (330)

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