Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.