dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
