I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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