Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
