so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Green mimosas i think yes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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