he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my being single is dangerous.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
