I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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