I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
