At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
