I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
