Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
