So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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