ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am naked and annoyed.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.