P.S. I can't hear my feet
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished