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Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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