Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks

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  (303): Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks http://tfl.nu/eae4
  Replies (34) Good night (965) Bad night (3015) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.

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  (219): I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious. http://tfl.nu/0lgt
  Replies (17) Good night (3824) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  no.

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  (404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no. http://tfl.nu/c4dk
  Replies (21) Good night (6268) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

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  (972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry" http://tfl.nu/fk1l
  Replies (21) Good night (11343) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(

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  (303): I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :( http://tfl.nu/s6q5
  Replies (54) Good night (644) Bad night (16943) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.

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  (905): we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats. http://tfl.nu/s3b9
  Replies (10) Good night (3430) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.

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  (479): Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out. http://tfl.nu/6ock
  Replies (17) Good night (4009) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already

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  (607): please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already http://tfl.nu/5kxb
  Replies (8) Good night (2794) Bad night (1356)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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  (206): And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single. http://tfl.nu/gzjy
  Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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  (231): Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/zmtw
  Replies (2) Good night (898) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  It's after 5, it's not day drinking.

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  (859): Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester? (1-859): It's after 5, it's not day drinking. http://tfl.nu/fzca
  Replies (12) Good night (1341) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

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  (407): Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship. http://tfl.nu/8uzj
  Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"

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  (608): I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!" http://tfl.nu/mxo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1013) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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  (931): I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA http://tfl.nu/jla7
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.

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  (650): He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse. http://tfl.nu/0nh4
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt

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