Welp...herpes.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
