It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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