so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
