If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
