Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So much rum. So many feels.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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