you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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