dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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