It's Friday. Sex?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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