i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
