He asked me if I "almost moaned"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
