? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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