Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
