DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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