I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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