He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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