We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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