Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If I die, sorry about rent.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
