I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
