your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
