"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
