I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
