Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize