I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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