mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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